Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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