ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
