i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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