Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
