I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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