last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
