You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
