And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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