I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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