I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I want to be your penis for a week.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
