Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
