I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
