get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
