Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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