Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
