this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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