This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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