I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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