we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
