I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
