i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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