Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
