did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
