he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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