On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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