That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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