dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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