THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
