They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
