sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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