All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
