I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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