if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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