At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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