My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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