she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
