went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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