I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
