i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her