I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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