dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
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Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong