Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant