You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares