Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.