I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
