the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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