So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
