I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
