Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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