just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
