Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize