He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
