i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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