in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
