i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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