i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
