drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
