i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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