So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize