You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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