So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
