i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
